Of Heartbreaks and Hell Songs
by KaitMcManus
Summary: She'd hoped to find him. He never expected to see her here. What happens when the younger sister of Roger shows up in Alphabet City? Story started by Pheonix-Hoshi. Updates coming regularly!
1. Chapter 1

As she walked down the street, she couldn't help but feel completely alone in the world. Not only was she alone, she was absolutely and totally lost. She pulled her sweatshirt closer around her as the cold New York wind ran easily through it's thin layer of protection. _I know he lives around here somewhere. _she thought. She had been walking around this part of NY for the greater part of three days - toting all she owned in a backpack on her shoulders - and still hadn't found him. Last she heard he was in Alphabet City. This was, she had come to understand, Alphabet City. Or at least this is where the guy sleeping down in the park had pointed her when she finally gave up looking and asked. Walking through the masses of tents and boxes people used as shelters, she couldn't help but feel somewhat weary, but she had managed to gather the courage to approach one of the tents. The man in it didn't look much older than she, and although his clothes had been scroungy and his face had been dirty, he was quite a nice person. He had told her exactly where this allusive Alphabet City was, and how to get there. He also told her that if she needed somewhere to crash, there were enough bohemians in Tent City to share food and shelter with her. She had thanked him, but told him that she had to be on her way. She never did tell him WHY she wanted to go to Alphabet City, and the man thought she was much too young to be looking for such a place on her own. The bohemian Tent City resident watched her leave, hoping that such a child would be alright on her own, but doubting he'd ever see her again. She pondered over this man as she walked around the city. _Bohemian_ she thought, _Whatever that is... _He had seemed nice enough, but she was afraid to let herself open up and trust him, which she believed was a wise enough decision seeing as they had just met, and the man DID live in a tent after all.

She stopped after a while. It was dark out, and she still hadn't found him. She looked at her surroundings. The run down warehouses and small buildings where people were trying to run businesses, however unsuccessful they may be. _This is the last place I expected him to be._ she thought, wondering why her brother hadn't become a star by now. Or a business man at least, his brains were always the fall back to his music. "An escape plan," he had called them, "something to use if I need them badly enough to leave music behind." Even then, she realized, she knew he would never have let go of music. Brains were useless to someone who could only feel through the notes running in his veins. That had been five years ago, however. She hadn't seen him in four years, and hadn't even heard from him in three. She remembered everything about him, but it seemed to her that she was forgotten. She remembered the day he'd left. She'd been tweleve, and he eighteen. She had cried more than he'd ever seen, and he in turn had promised to come back for her as soon as he had everything settled in New York. He didn't want her to grow up alone in that house. She got a letter every Friday from him for the first few months, telling her of the band he found, the loft he was living in, his roommate, and of the gigs he played at the bars. He didn't have enough money to take her yet. She hadn't cared about the money, but he didn't want her to have to wonder where her next meal was going to come from. As time went on, the letters became few and far between, untill they just stopped coming all together. One year he kept in touch. One year he'd spent promising not to leave her. One year is all it took for her to go from being a little sister to a distant memory, as far as she was concerned. She'd held on hope for him to write again, or even come for her for one year after that. She was fourteen when she realized that was never going to happen. He had forgotten about her. Zoe Davis was all alone now.

A near by car alarm went off, and she was snapped out of her thoughts. It was getting very late, and she knew she had to find somewhere to spend her third night in New York. _This is NOT how I pictured my arrival to this "grand" city. _she thought as she walked around looking for somewhere to sleep. Her stomach growled and she realized she hadn't eaten since her first day here. She hadn't been able to find anything, and she had spent all of the money she had been able to save on the train ticket from Omaha, Nebraska to New York. She walked a few blocks further looking for shelter from the cold night air, and decided to settle for a bench in the park, being all that she could come up with. She shrugged her pack off her shoulders and layed it on the bench, resting her head on top of it. As she lay there she looked up at the stars. She wondered if she would ever find her brother, or even if sleep would ever come carry her away. She hadn't been able to sleep since she got to New York. She knew it wasn't from hungar, or because she was on the streets and cold - she had dealt with all of that on other occasions. This was different though. This was the first time she had ever felt scared or helpless like this. She was lost in her thoughts, when suddenly her head hit the cold steel of the bench. Someone had pulled her pack out from under her head and was running away with it. _DAMNIT! _she thought as she took off after the theif. He took off into an alley behind one of the buildings and she followed. There may not have been much in that backpack, but it was all she owned and she wasn't going to give it up without a fight. The alley was a dead end, and the theif had no where to go. He picked up an empty pop bottle and busted off the end. Zoe stopped dead in her tracks, not wanting to run straight into the broken glass dangling from the man's hand.

"LISTEN MAN!" she screamed, "I JUST WANT MY CRAP BACK!"

The man laughed, and ran at her, stabbing aimlessly with his bottle. A shocked Zoe ran backwards and tripped over a box that had been on the side of the alley. The man swung the bottle once more and caught Zoe across the cheek. She felt the stinging, and kicked upwards at the man, hitting him squarely in the groin. This, obviously, didn't make the man very happy, and he dropped the bottle and swung his fist, making direct contact with the cheek opposite the one that had just been cut. He managed to pin her down, sitting on her stomach, elbows pinned down by his knees.

"Now you've gone and done it, girly. I didn't want to hurt you." he smiled maliciously, "but you just wouldn't give up!" He slugged her in the face a few more times, causing Zoe's world to become fuzzy and swirled. _I'm gonna die_ she thought, _I'm gonna die here and no one will ever know._ Suddenly, the man was gone. He had gotten up and run down the alley, taking her backpack with him. Zoe lay there for a moment, trying to figure out why he ran, and heard the distant wailing of police sirens. _Maybe I'm not the only one who thought they were in for it. _she mused sarcastically. She pushed herself up onto her feet, and grabbed the wall to keep from swaying too much. She was dizzy, and she knew she still had to find somewhere to spend the night. She began walking out of the ally and noticed a bright red notebook laying on the ground. She bent down and picked it up, looked at the cover, and hugged it close to her heart. This notebook was her life, and it must have fallen out when he ranThe only thing the man had gotten was a backpack with a few clothes._ None of which would look very good on him. _she thought with a smile. She made her way out of the alley and sat down on the stoop of a building near by. She had only planned to rest a moment, and regain her composure before finding a place to spend the night, but instead ended up crashing into a deep sleep curled up in the corner next to the door, only to be very rudely awaken the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHORS NOTE/DISCLAIMER : **I do not... repeate : DO **NOT** own RENT or any of the characters you recognize from the play/movie. The only character thing that really belongs to me is Zoe. She is a figment of my imagination and it would be much appreciated if you didn't steal her. Have fun with Chapter Two... thanks for the reviews!

Zoe awoke to a very hard crack upside the head. The door she had fallen asleep on had opened, knocking into her quite hardly. The person who had opened the door stepped out and looked down at her with shocked eyes. It's not, after all, every day that you open your front door to find a girl sleeping on the stoop. The sun was shining brightly and Zoe had to shield her eyes to give them time to adjust. She was already in a fair amount of pain from the night before, and the headache from the door didn't help any. She looked up at the man who had just exited the seemingly abandoned warehouse, and he stared back.

"Are you ok?" he asked, sincerely. "I didn't mean to hit you, I just didn't realize there would be someone sleeping on my door." He looked her over, taking note of the bruises and cuts, and the rips in her dirty clothing. She didn't look like she'd had it easy in New York, and he wondered why such a young girl would be alone in Alphabet City in the first place.

"I'm fine." she answered, and pulled herself up to stand. This, however, seemed to have been a bad idea when she started swaying. The man grabbed her arm to keep her from toppling over.

"No, you're not" he told her softly, "C'mon... I've got a loft up here. We'll get you cleaned up and you can tell me why you were sleeping on my door." He started to lead her towards the door, but logic got the better of her, and she tried to pull away.

"I... I can't" she said, shakily. The man smiled at her, realizing that a young girl was being led into a warehouse by a man she didn't know. How strange it must be for her. He looked her straight in the eye.

"My name's Collins... Tom Collins. And you are...?"

"Zoe" she replied, not offering a last name. She didn't trust this man, and had no reason to yet. Why trust a man you just met in the middle of a run down section of New York?

"Nice to meet you" the man called Collins said, and he opened the door once more, this time not hitting the girl in the face. "I'm not going to force you in, you know, but the loft is better than the streets. You can clean up there... and we can get you fed after that" He added noticing how frail she was looking. At the mention of food, Zoe realized how long she'd gone without it, and her stomach gave a violently audible gurgle. Collins chuckled at hearing that.

"If it makes you feel better, my girl is up there right now so we wouldn't be alone. Hell, everyone's probably there by now!" Zoe looked at the man suspiciously, but gave in to the urges of hungar and exhaustion.

"Okay, I'll go with you." Collins smiled at her and she took a step. She wobbled quite a bit, and he grabbed her arm a little harder to keep her steady. He helped her walk up the stairs to his loft on the second floor and opened the door. There was another man there... dressed as a woman? Zoe'd never seen a cross dresser before, but oddly enough, didn't give a second thought to it. She was too exhausted to think anymore. Collins smiled as the woman turned to him with a questioning look.

"Angel, this is Zoe... I found her on the doorstep. I think the stork dropped her off." Collins laughed as he let go of Zoe's arm. "Zoe, meet Angel." Angel walked over and hugged Zoe, and Zoe stiffened up at the touch. She wasn't used to hugs, especially from strangers. Angel backed off at Zoe's reaction, but held her shoulders at arm's distance.

"What happened to you, chica?" she asked with an honest curriosity and compassion. Zoe lowered her eyes to the ground, and shrugged.

"Nothing."

Angel smiled softly and touched her bruised cheek, and Zoe winced. "That's not 'nothing' girl. But, you don't have to tell us if you don't want." She wrapped an arm around Zoe and pulled her into the loft, leading her to the bathroom. "Take a shower, and we'll get you some clothes. Mine will be too big on you, but you can wear a belt for now. Then we'll get you fed. We're going to the Life Cafe later, but you look like you could use some food before that. When's the last time you ate, sugar?"

Zoe smiled at Angel's talkative-yet-compassionate personality, and began to relax slightly for the first time since she left Omaha. "Umm... three days ago" she said, looking at the ground again from embarassment, and rand her hand through her long, wavy, dark blond hair. Angel looked at her wide-eyed and nodded.

"Well you'll eat as soon as you get clean." she smiled and walked out of the bathroom, returning after a moment with a towel for Zoe and some clothes. "These should do for now." She smiled and walked out into the main room, closing the door behind her.

Zoe turned around and looked in the mirror on the bathroom wall. _I look like hell._ she thought, gazing over her reflection. From the swollen cheek and the cut on the other to the blood that had matted in her dark blond hair and her ripped dirty clothes, she looked like she had been through the worst life had to offer. And she had, though she would never admit it to anyone. She turned around and slipped out of her clothes. She never looked at herself naked in the mirror. She didn't want to see herself. She then turned on the water, running her hands underneath it to find a good temperature. _Nice and hot. _she thought, before pulling the plug that switched the tub from "bath" to "shower" and stepping under the steaming water. The water running over her relaxed her immensly. After about a half hour, and a good hard scrubbing, Zoe turned off the water and stepped out, wrapping herself in the large fluffy towel Angel had provided. She dried off and held up the clothes that had been brought for her use: a pair of jeans and a pink wife beater. Zoe slipped into the jeans, pulling the belt off of her own and using it to hold up the pants that were about five sizes too big on her, and pulled the shirt over her head. She had to make due with her dirty underwear since that creep had taken her clothes, but supposed she would find more soon. Running her fingers through her hair, she walked out into the main room to see Angel and Collins talking quietly on a couch. Zoe stood in the doorway and cleared her throat, not wanting them to get mad at her for eavesdropping.

Angel and Collins both turned at her noise, and Angel got up and pranced over to her.

"It's been decided, chica!" Angel said to a very confused looking Zoe, "You're going to stay here untill you have a better place of your own... that is... if you want to." Angel smiled

Zoe looked at them. They were offering her a place to stay untill she found him. They've been so good to her already that she didn't see how she could possibly intrude more. _It would only be for a few days._ she reasoned with herself, _and it's not like you have anywhere else to go Zoe Jane Davis. _She looked at Angel and nodded. "Thank you"

Angel smiled and bounced up and down, hugging Zoe tightly. "That's great girl! You'll have so much fun here! And you'll get to meet everyone!" Collins stood up at this time and walked over to the girls.  
"There is one condition, however" he said. Zoe looked at him suspiciously, but he chuckled. "It's not anything you could be thinking right now. We just want to know why you were sleeping alone on a doorstep in Alphabet City. This isn't the best place to be doing that, you know."

Zoe sighed. This could take a while. She nodded and Collins motioned to the couch, where she made herself comfortable and prepared to tell them what had happened. Angel ran into the kitchen and came back with a box of oreo's. "Man's greatest creation!" she laughed, happily before sitting down beside Zoe as Collins sat directly across from her on a foot rest. Zoe pulled her legs under her and ran her fingers through her hair. Angel looked at her curriously at the motion, noting that it looked familiar when she did that, but said nothing. Zoe took a cookie, prolonging the inevitable, and nibbled on it before beginning her story. She told them of how she had left her home in Omaha, Nebraska, because her mother had died. She just didn't have anywhere else to go. She'd always wanted to see New York, and knew somebody that lived in this infamous "Alphabet City" so she had come here to try to find him. She wasn't even sure if he remembered her, but she knew that she had to try because there was no where else to go. She told them about using all of her money on the train ticket and then sleeping on benches in this part of New York for a few nights. She told of the guy that stole her clothes, but she managed to get her notebook, and she held it up for them to see.

"I didn't plan on falling asleep on your stoop," she said "I was just resting for a while and ended up crashing."

Angel and Collins looked at each other, they knew she had left out some things, but this was good enough for them. They couldn't believe what the girl had gone through to get here, and even worse what had happened when she DID get here. Angel put an arm around Zoe comfortingly and understandingly. Then she had a thought.

"Who are you looking for in Alphabet City, anyways?" Angel asked. Zoe looked at her, then figured she may as well tell them. They were being so generous that they may as well know.

"My brother... Roger Davis"


	3. Chapter 3

**AUTHOR'S NOTE : **Sorry it took so long to update, I've been busy with work and school. I STILL do not own any of the orriginal RENT material, just Zoe. She's my muse! Happy reading!

Angel's jaw dropped and she and Collins exchanged a look of disbelief. Zoe saw them exchange the glance, and turned red. Collins chuckled and shook his head.

"So you're saying you are the kid sister of Roger Davis, musician extrodinaire?"

"The one and only." Zoe smiled, "I take it his reputation preceeds him?"

Angel laughed. "Not quite, chica. We're friends with him!" It was Zoe's turn for a jaw-drop. She couldn't believe it. These people KNEW her brother. They were his FRIENDS! This was possibly the best news she had ever heard. They could show her where he was! Her face lit up with excitement and she laughed for the first time since meeting Angel and Collins. Or, in actuallity, for the first time since her brother had stopped writing her three years ago.

"We didn't know he had a sister, girl" Angel said, not knowing how else to tell her that they'd never even heard her name. Zoe's face fell. She feared that she had gotten her hopes up, only to have them come crashing back down on her again. _What if he doesn't remember me?_ she thought, _Or worse, what if he doesn't WANT me?_ The fear of her brother not accepting her back into her life was her biggest fear. Sure, she was angry and somewhat sullen at him for leaving her, but he had no right to be mad. It was him, after all, that had done the leaving - not Zoe. Her heart seemed to hit her stomach with the weight of a ten pound led ball. She didn't know what to do, or how to react. Angel hugged Zoe once more.

"Don't worry chica! Roger will be at the Life for dinner, you'll see him and everything will be alright again!" she smiled, a ray of hope radiating from her entrancing personality. She supposed this girl was telling the truth. It wasn't like Roger to talk about his past or his family anyways. For all they knew he could have had twenty siblings, but it seemed that this girl - Zoe - was the only one. Collins put his hand gently on Angel's knee.

"Don't you think we ought to tell him BEFORE we go to the Life?" he asked seriously, fearing the reaction from both parties if they just happened to meet in a public setting without giving Roger fair warning. "I'd bet Zoe wants to see her brother soon anyways after traveling all this way for him." Zoe nodded, shyly and unsure at first, but after looking into Angel's eyes she became more confident in her decision, and it showed. Collins then reached for the phone and dialed the number to the loft. One ring - Two ring - Three - Four - "SPEEEAAAAAK!" The answering machine went off. They were probably home, just not answering the phone, as usual.

"Roger? Mark? It's Collins! Answer the phone I have a ..." Collins paused momentarily and Zoe ran her fingers through her hair nervously. Angel then recognized why the trait looked so familiar. Roger did the same thing when he was nervous, or consumed by thought. "Mark?" Collins continued, "We have a slight change of plans... Yes, we're still eating tonight, but there's going to be an extra guest at the table... No we didn't pick up some dazed viewer of Maureen's performance last night... No it's not... No... MARK! Is Roger home?... NO! Keep him there!... You'll see... Angel and I will be there in about fifteen minutes... Ok... Bye." Collins hung up the phone and looked at Zoe and Angel sitting together on the couch. "They're expecting us." he smiled, "Though I'm pretty sure Mark was more worried about food than about a visitor." _Mark? _Zoe thought, _That's the one Roger wrote about... his roommate... the film maker!_ Zoe'd heard of him in Roger's letters, but she wasn't so sure that the man she'd understood her brother to hold in such high regards had ever even heard of her, and it cut Zoe to the bone.

"We should start walking so we can be there on time." Collins said, picking up his jacket. Angel grabbed her own and looked at Zoe frowning.

"We can't let her go outside in a beater." she stated, and ran off into another room. She came back momentarily with a baggy pink hooded sweatshirt, the exact same shade as the tank top. "It's not much," she said, offering the hoodie to Zoe, "but it will help keep you warm." Zoe gladly took the hoodie and pulled it over her head, snuggling down into the warmth. She followed Collins and Angel out the door and down the fight of stairs to the main entrance. Bracing herself for the shock of the cold air, they walked out into the street.

"Two blocks down and one to the left." Angel told Zoe, without having been asked for directions. She linked arms with Zoe and Collins and began to prance down the street, Zoe speeding up a bit to keep up with her. The entire way there Angel and Collins were talking about how to tell Roger his sister was there, and even asked her if she had any ideas. Zoe just shrugged. She really had no idea. _I haven't even seen him in four years, how would I know? _she thought. It took about fifteen minutes, as Collns had predicted, before they stopped in front of a building.

"We're here!" Colllins said, opening the door for the girls. Zoe looked up at the building quickly before she was ushered inside by Angel. It was another old abandoned warehouse. "Top floor." Collins directed, and began leading the way up the stairs, Angel in tow. Zoe followed slowly, lost in her thoughts, and slightly afraid of her brother's reaction to her just popping out of nowhere. Angel noticed Zoe lagging behind them and backtracked, putting her arm around Zoe's shoulders. Zoe was still akward, but realizing that this was just how Angel showed affection, and she was a very affectionate person.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked. Zoe just shook her head and looked at her feet as they continued upward. "He won't reject you." Angel said, sensing Zoe's fears, and Zoe looked up at her with big eyes.

"I, know." she said. "Logically... but -"

"But it's a normal fear." Angel finished for her. "C'mon, you'll do just FINE!" Angel smiled at Zoe and she pearked up a bit.

They walked in silence from then on, untill reaching the top floor. Angel put her hand on Zoe's shoulder and stopped her at the stairs.

"Stay here, chica." she said, smiling warmly. "We'll prep him for you." Zoe nodded silently, swallowing hard to keep the cookies she had eaten at Angel and Collins' place down. Angel noticed her terrified look and gave her one last hug. "Hang in there, girlie. We'll call you in in a moment." Collins and Angel then walked into the loft and Zoe heard loud greatings from different people. She just couldn't understand what was being said. She then sat down, listening to nothing but the silence and her own thoughts for what seemed like an eternity. She was considering running and just figuring out where to go on her own, but as that thought crossed her mind, Angel opened the door and motioned for her to come in. As she reached the door, Angel put her arm around Zoe and pulled her all the way into the loft, and pulled the door closed behind them. Zoe was met by the stares of a man sitting on the couch with Collins and a woman who was draped over a chair across from them. Most importantly, she was met by the open-mouthed bewildered stare of her own brother standing right before her.

"Zoe?"


	4. Chapter 4

**I STILL do NOT own RENT. Unfortunetly my mind isn't brilliant enough to come up with something that amazing. Zoe is a figment of my imagination, and doesn't really belong with the RENT cast. That's about it. R&R**

Zoe stood under Angel's arm staring back at a very dumbstruck Roger Davis. She could feel her face burn with a blush as he looked intently at her, as if seeing her for the first time. _It HAS been four years _she reminded herself.

"Hi Rog." she brought herself to say so softly it was almost a whisper, running her hands through her hair and dropping her gaze slowly. She could feel the other's eyes boring into her, and it made her feel naked.

"Zoe, what... how... why are you here?" Roger asked, fumbling with his words. Zoe looked up at him suddenly, anger flashing through her eyes as his words cut her to the bone.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that, Roger Adam Davis?" Roger looked confused at Zoe's reaction, and even more so when she turned and pushed past Angel's arm and took off out of the door. Roger didn't follow, but stood there with a stunned, blank expression. Up the stairs and out onto the roof, Zoe ran. She stopped as soon as she was outside in the air and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. She walked over to the edge of the roof and sat with one leg dangling over the edge. You'd think with one leg hanging limply over the edge of a five story building, one would feel nervous or scared, but Zoe was the opposite. She felt exhilarated by the view: New York cityscape. _So this is where the beauty went._ She thought dryly. She sat there alone for about a half hour, trying to think of places to go now. Her brother's reaction made it clear to her that she was unwelcome here. _There IS nowhere else, though,_ she thought. Perhaps she could do what Roger did when he was only two years older than she is now : move out on her own and get a loft and be a musician. Zoe laughed softly to herself as she thought this. Roger was the musician, not her. She played fairly well, but would rather write a song than play someone else's. Lyrics and poems and random drabbles filled her notebook, which, she just realized, she had left at Angel and Collins' loft. _Damnit._

"Pretty cool, huh?" A voice behind Zoe caused her to jump, swaying slightly on the edge, she grabbed the cement to hold her balance. Turning around she saw her brother standing against the building's wall with his hands in his pockets. Zoe turned her face towards the view once more.

"Sure." she said, simply, and added as an after thought. "You know, it's not nice to sneak up on people."

Roger shrugged at Zoe's back. "Why don't you come inside for a while?"

"Why?" Zoe retorted, "It's not like you want me here anyways. You made that quite clear. Plus, if you REALLY wanted me you would have come to get me before like you promised."

Roger winced visibly at the sting of Zoe's harsh words, and she looked at him again. "What? Did I touch a nerve?" Zoe stood up on the ledge of the roof and held her arms straight out. "You see Roger Davis? Do you see me now?"

"Zoe c'mon." Roger pleaded, getting off the wall and stepping towards his sister. She didn't' care. She was alone and afraid, although she would never admit to that fear. She felt a surge of adrenaline rushing through her veins. _So THIS is what it's like to be invincible, _she thought passively to herself. She leaned her head backwards, looking at the sky, and realized that if she didn't' hold her balance she would fall off of the building. She chuckled slightly to herself as Roger stepped towards her even more, not wanting her to do anything crazy.

"Zoe Jane, please," he begged, "come down. Come tell me what's going on. I want to hear it. I've missed you, you know I have."

Zoe snorted. "How the hell am I supposed to know THAT Roger Adam Davis if you never came back." She leaned back even farther and her foot slipped. Her eyes snapped open widely as she lost her balance and began to fall backwards. Roger lunged for her.

"ZOE!"


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE / DISCLAIMER : **Still don't own RENT or the characters from RENT. Just Zoe. Another short chapter, but I'm writing during breaks in school and other random times I get a chance. There will be a longer chappie soon. R&R

Zoe felt a hand wrap tightly around her wrist as Roger pulled her arm roughly. Instead of falling backwards, she tumbled forward and landed with a grunt sprawled out on her stomach on the floor of the roof. She rolled over onto her back, propping herself up on her elbows, and grinned manically at Roger. Roger glared her, but knelt down next to her and looked her in the eye.

"Are you alright?"

Zoe nodded and he offered her a hand. She accepted and allowed herself to be pulled to her feet before bending over and dusting herself off.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF KILLED! ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND! YOU…." Roger was yelling at the top of his lungs, but Zoe looked past her brother at the view and her smile faded.

"It's gone," she said. Roger stopped his ranting and looked quizzically at her.

"What's gone?" he asked. Zoe just shook her head and looked him in the eye.

"If you don't know I'm not going to tell you." Roger laughed at the stubborn look that crossed Zoe's face at that particular moment. The same one she had given him when she was a child. Every time she had a secret that she wanted to share with him she'd given him the look she gave him now. There were no secrets between the two when they were younger, yet now neither knew who the other was anymore. Roger still thought Zoe was the little girl he'd left behind in Omaha, and he was sorely mistaken. Zoe, on the other hand, knew that she didn't know her own brother anymore. The miles and the time had caused them both to change.

Zoe was confused at Roger's sudden laughter, but shrugged it off. _The boy's lost his mind, _she thought. Strange thought coming from the one who almost just took a swan dive off of a roof. She looked at him, the anger she'd felt in the loft returning once more as she remembered that he didn't want her. She glared at him, eyes blazing, and she folded her arms across her chest. Roger looked at her as if she had grown a third eyeball out of the middle of her forehead.

"What now?"

"'What now' what?" Zoe questioned back.

"First you're grinning like a maniac and then you look at me like you wished I'd crawl under a rock!" Roger accused, "What, are you mad at me?"

Zoe's eyes widened indigenously. "Well SOMEONE'S finally gotten a clue!" she retorted, "Damn straight I'm mad at you and I think I have every reason TO be! YOU LEFT Roger, You left FIVE years ago, and you NEVER came back!" tears were welling up in her eyes, and she began to scream at him. "You NEVER came back and you stopped even WRITING to me! You PROMISED you'd come back! You want to know what's gone, Roger Davis? Do you REALLY want to know? EVERYTHING'S GONE! YOU'RE GONE… I'M GONE!… MOM'S GONE ROGER! MOM! AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT!" by this point tears were streaming down her face. Roger looked at her shocked.

"Mom?" he gulped, disbelievingly.

"YES ROGER!" Zoe yelled back. "MOM'S GONE AND YOU WERE SO HIGH ON YOUR FUCKING HORSE THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! YOU DIDN'T COME BACK FOR THE FUNERAL! HE KILLED HER AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW! YOU LEFT US ALONE! YOU LEFT ME ALONE WITH HIM! YOU PROMSIED YOU'D COME BACK AND YOU NEVER DID! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH ME!" Roger grabbed his sister by the arms and pulled her in to him, wrapping his arms around Zoe, trying to comfort her, but she just started pounding on his chest with her fists. "YOU PROMISED, ROGER! YOU PROMISED! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

Her words hit him like a ton of bricks. He held her tightly to his chest and cradled her head. She stopped pounding on him and buried her face into his shoulder to cry. Her body was shaking, racked with sobs. Roger just rubbed her back, whispering softly to her. Soon her sobs subsided into hiccups, and she pulled away from him, wiping her eyes furiously with her fists. _Goddamnit! Why''d I have to go cry in front of him? I'm so stupid to bawl like a fucking baby. _Roger chuckled.

"There's no point in trying to hide those tears now, kiddo." She shot him a death look and his smile faded. "C'mon Zoe," he said wrapping an arm around her shoulder, leading her towards the door. "Let's go home."


End file.
